The shock of a divorce is enough to shake just about anyone’s confidence. Ask the divorce lawyers at Strange Law Firm, or any other experts who deal with divorce, and they’ll likely clue you in on how the process can bring about strong feelings of grief for those involved.
These feelings are natural, of course, but if you are experiencing a period of grieving, you’ll want to make sure you are handling your emotions well so that they don’t overcome you. Here are some of the things you shouldn’t be doing in the time following your divorce.
Lie To Yourself About Your Feelings
Humans are remarkable in their ability to deceive themselves, but if you choose to go this route after your divorce, you’ll be in for more pain than you bargained for.
Attempting to mask your grief, or convince yourself that you aren’t feeling grief at all, only puts off dealing with your emotions.
As time goes on, those feelings of sadness can build until they are too great to bear, and they come crashing down on you with greater force than you imagined.
Instead, be honest about how you feel, and take the appropriate actions to deal with your grief. These may vary, depending on your personality, but the key takeaway is that it will take action on your part, instead of ignoring the issue in front of you.
Rush Into A New Relationship
While it may seem that replacing your ex-spouse with someone new is the perfect way to just “get over things” it can often end up causing more harm than good.
Rushing into a new relationship without dealing with the feelings of an old one will hurt you in the long run, as no two are alike and the “replacement” you’re looking for doesn’t truly exist.
What’s more, lingering feelings from your previous marriage can end up hindering how you relate to a new partner, leading to unexpected tension that could have been avoided if you had waited longer and dealt with your emotions first.
Intellectualize Your Split
It’s a hard concept for many to grasp, but the reasons behind your divorce do not negate any feelings of grief you may have. You may try to tell yourself things like, “because my partner cheated, I don’t need to feel bad about our relationship ending.”
This isn’t true, however, and negative feelings you may have about divorce are valid whether you initiated the split, your partner did, or it was an inevitable consequence of bad behavior from either party. Again, be honest with your feelings and don’t try to fool yourself.