What is self-improvement?
Self-improvement is a positive change in someone’s life by someone’s own efforts.
According to the Oxford dictionary,
The improvement of one’s knowledge, status, or character by one’s own efforts.
When someone is looking for self-improvement it means to believe that nothing under the sun is perfect. There is always room for improvement. Improvement is the basis of evolution. All of us, at least once in life strongly wish to change our lives for betterment.
Yet all of us don’t find the chance to improve and change it.
And the ones who get the chance; sometimes really don’t know how to change the life – which improvements one should make in life to change lives positively.
The reason behind this ignorance is that we don’t usually consider our routine life or the principles we follow – to be changed.
We think ourselves always at our best. Whenever we consider ourselves as perfect, we shut down the door of improvement for us.
We feel our thinkings to be the best and our decisions always to be the right. We rarely admit our faults and that’s why never realise our shortcomings. We never challenge our own belief systems and hence we never find our imperfections.
Did you ever challenge your own life or the principles you follow?
But if it is so, it must yield self-improvement.
The other main reason I believe, people blame their circumstances.
Whatever people see unpleasant in their lives, they think circumstances are responsible for it. Due to this thinking, people don’t try to change their approach. And hence they could never change their lives. And in the end, they say that their circumstances didn’t allow them to change their lives.
No doubt there are too many things which certainly can’t be changed by themselves. Yet they forget that there are too many things which can be changed – can be made better. There are a number of things that are in the range of their will. They can amend them or mould them according to their own benefit.
But the fault lies here in our thinking. We never consider the things that are in the range of our will and always cry over the things which we can’t change.
That’s why we can never change our lives.
So change your approach and stop blaming the outward conditions. Step ahead to your inward improvement. That’s the only solution to all of your problems. Try to find out the space for improvements and growth.
So, in our routine life, our belief should be that nothing is perfect. So we can work on self-improvements at any time in life.
Possible ways to improve yourself
First of all, you have to decide to change your life. You have to think about improvements that can bring a new spirit in your life. You must prepare yourself for the necessary changes.
Maybe you have to change your routine. Maybe you have to change your company and affiliations. It may require you to change your habits. And very possible to change your dogma.
In either case, you have to take a strong decision to change it. If you couldn’t decide it, you can never get it done.
He who tries finds the way!
– Arabic Proverb
It’s a fact that those who actually decide from the heart to change their lives for better, they have all the abilities to bring any kind of change in their lives.
When you have prepared yourself for improvements the next step starts.
You may have a question in mind that how can I change my life? It’s possible that you might be looking for the ways by which you can fascinate your soul. You might want to improve yourself so that you could satisfy your self. You might get tired of circumstances and you don’t want to allow your circumstances to rule your life. You might have decided to live your life that way you ever dreamed for. If you are fond of self-improvement you could achieve anything in life.
It’s possible that you don’t want to wait so long as people do in their life to wish for a good time. You have found the fact that nothing will change with time if you don’t make the struggle for it and now you want to strive for that change – a positive change in personality and circumstances.
If you are ready for this struggle, you can really change everything in your life.
So after realizing the need to change your life, we just need to work on it. As Jim Kwik has said that every human being in this world has the same abilities, no one is special and no one has anything different from others. This is what I believe for you.
There is nothing different in you from the person you feel special one; the only thing that makes people different from others is that they work on their plans.
They take actions.
God or nature whatever you believe in – gives equal opportunities to live a wonderful life, to live a dream life. The only requirement is to avail the opportunities to change lives positively.
Choose the areas for improvements
As you change any aspect of life for the better, it has an impact on all other aspects of life. Our all aspects of life are like a fist. If one aspect is weaker than it has an impact on the others too.
That’s why we need to work on all of the aspects of life for self-improvement.
So you should know what aspects of life are there which you can change for the better and what you should do with the aspects you can’t change.
Before we go for the aspects which you can change for the better, we should discuss the aspects of life which you can’t change.
Ups and Downs of life and your attitude towards them
We all have ups and downs in life. There is no one who has not faced difficult times or who have not met pleasureful moments. Incidents and accidents are the times which you can’t change. And it’s possible that you met an accident. It was not your fault.
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. – Jim Rohn
We can’t change this kind of incidents and accidents, but we can change our attitude towards these moments.
For example, someone lost a person he loved the most. It really can’t be changed, but the negative attitude one can have is if he thinks that why this happens to him all the time. And the positive attitude will be if he thinks that incidents and accidents are part of everyone’s life. Anyone can suffer this time, so I did, I should think about the next.
The other example is that you’re striving hard to achieve life goals. But you failed too many times.
The negative attitude will be if you start thinking that it’s your hard luck that you can’t achieve anything, as you tried hard this time, you should achieve the goals but you couldn’t. So it’s just because of your hard luck or foolishness.
The other bright side of the failure is that if you think that you have learnt from your mistakes. As Thomas Edison tried dozens of times to make bulbs, but couldn’t succeed. But he never lost hope and he said that he has learnt the ways by which bulbs can’t be made.
It means it’s your attitude which you can change towards the matters which you can’t change.
While starting working on self-improvements, the first most essential hack is to unlearn what you have already learned. Because it is the previous knowledge that is not letting you succeed.
I can elaborate it with an example. Suppose you want to achieve your goals. But your goals are so high that it seems impossible to achieve them. But someone else told you that he has achieved such goals in his life and you can too.
What will be your response? You’re lucky, you got a suitable environment and circumstances. Your situations were different. Actually, all of these are obstacles that your previous knowledge is creating for you because your previous knowledge isn’t allowing you to accept that you can achieve a goal that has been impossible for you.
So, if you want to improve your self you must unlearn what you have learned.
Change your belief system – the principles
Tony Robbins the best-selling author has said that whatever we do, we under own belief system.
And Ray Dalio in his book “Principles” has said that the principles which we follow in our life mostly arise from our own failures and success and from our elder’s experiences.
If you have experienced often good exposures in your life, you will consider yourself lucky. You will believe that life has a comparatively soft attitude with you in all the fields of life.
On the other hand, if you were suffering a lot in your life, you will consider yourself unlucky. And you will always believe that life is unfair with you in all the fields of life.
Actually, there is no real concept of luck and bad luck. It’s our attitude towards matters.
Let’s elaborate with the example.
If you consider yourself lucky. You have strong faith that if you will work on something you will succeed. This belief will help you keep struggling even in the worst times. Because you believe that everything will suddenly get changed because you’re lucky. And it’s not a miracle that if you keep trying you will definitely succeed.
On the other hand, if someone thinks that he is unlucky, his belief makes it so. If he works on something, he, in the beginning, has a belief that something will go wrong. He is afraid of the failure. And actually visualizing and waiting for the failure.
How can you suppose that someone who is a failure, in the beginning, will get succeeded in the end?
So you must have strong faith in yourself.
From the above example, I mentioned, it’s clear how does the impact of faith will yield success in your life. You should change your attitude on your own. It’s clear that it will increase your confidence if you trust your own self.
If you believe that anything you want to succeed in, as you are interested to change your life if you start believing that you will definitely change your life for the better, no one can really stop you from self-improvement.
You will notice that there is no role of circumstances in your life, there is no impact of hard times on your growth, actually, all the things you do, all the hard times you face are in your own. You decide which time is hard and when you were lucky.
So, just have good faith in your own and just work on your plans.
Here I want to mention that it’s possible that you might fail in achieving something, it won’t happen to you, it happens to everyone.
There are too many examples from where you can notice that things go wrong in everyone’s lives; as I mentioned the example of Thomas Edison.
You can also read the life of Mr Honda, his struggles for the dream he had, I can guarantee you that you had not suffered that much. But he had faith in his own – in the dream he had. That’s why even when his factory was bombed twice, he collected the extra gasoline cans that U.S. fighters had discarded. And said that these are “gifts from President Truman” because they provided him with the raw material that was required but was not available in Japan at that time.
And now you can see the fruits of that attitude of Mr Honda.
It means that it’s only you who can really change your life, and when you believe in yourself; you will find all the possible ways that can help you in self-improvement.
Find a mentor
While working on self-improvement, when you’re clear about the fields in which you need improvements then – first of all – you should find a mentor who can guide you to be the best version of yourself.
In most of the cases, I have noticed that people usually have the finest information about the fields. In the modern era, the information is on the fingertips. Whatever you want to learn – you can simply Google that term or Youtube it. You have the answer. Most probably, you found this self-improvement guide the same way. But still, why aren’t people successful yet? Do you think the information is inaccurate? The ways and patterns aren’t appropriate?
That’s not true.
The available information is highly appreciable on the internet but the problem is, people, don’t have a mentor. Without a mentor, the information is like a raw material – that’s useless until someone teaches you the appropriate use of it.
It’s said that knowledge without proper guidance is like a snake hidden in the log, may harm you anytime by misguiding you.
Who so ever the successful across the world is just because of a mentor. For example, my mentor Tony Robbins was worthless unless he accepted Jim Rohn as his mentor. If you want to be purified inwardly, you are bound to get mentored by the experts of the age.
And after this, you have to listen, perceive and follow your mentor carefully and enthusiastically. Soon the horizons of success would be opened for you.
If you ask me how you can improve your life? I will ask you to find your own life passion and purpose and achieve them. Because if are looking for the self-improvements then you have to find the specific aim for which you are going to improve yourself.
Without having any goal to be achieved; how can you decide the aspects you need to improve. Your objectives and aims provide the framework for you. They decide what aspects of your personality are helpful to achieve your goal. They also pinpoint the weak areas you need to amend according to the demand of your work.
Hence you’re dependent on your goals for deciding the aspects should be retained or dismissed.
Change your focus
As I have already told you that in real life, there are always ups and downs. No one has the exception from the routine. So you will definitely suffer from the issues, you won’t want to.
It’s clear that hard times will demotivate you, you will feel depressed. Can you bring positive changes in your life in such a situation? Can you really go for the self-improvements techniques while you are depressed?
No, you won’t! It will yield the philosophy of lucky and unlucky! And as I said there is nothing being lucky and unlucky.
Now the questions arise that what you should do in such situations? How successful people achieve their goals without being depressed? Because they always focus on the pleasures of the results.
If your focus is on the pleasures of the fruits you’re gonna achieve in the end, you won’t give much value to the pains you’re suffering at a moment.
You will believe that this shall too pass. So, it’s essential to learn how to focus better.
Improve your approach
When you’re working for self-improvement and growth its compulsory to change your approach too.
The way you’re thinking might not be the best. How can you go for the best? You will definitely find the best if you surround yourself with the people who can challenge your ways of thinking and can tell you some other ways to think.
If you have decided to go for the change, then you must keep in mind that people can misguide you or even you yourself can misguide you. So, to achieve better results, you should follow the following rules.
- Be a good listener: Stephen Covey said that it’s one of the 7 habits of highly effective people. It’s really hard to be a good listener. We don’t want to listen to other’s opinions, then how can we get their point of views? How can we improve ourselves?
To find better ways to think, you must have to listen to other’s opinions. So be a good listener, listen to others to get their points, not to defend your own.
- Be a good analyzer: If you keep listening to someone, your mind will find the reasons to have faith in the person. But on some other day, someone else can ruin your ideas. So, before believing in something, you must listen to the opinions of the other as well, and then be a good analyzer to find the better one.
- Be a good learner: Even you surround yourself with great minds, you won’t improve your self if you’re not a good learner. You should keep in mind that you’re a learner in your whole life. And you can learn anything from anyone, even from the foolish ones.
The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
– Albert Einstein
Do you know what makes creative people different from the others? It’s curiosity.
So when you’re struggling for the self-growth, you can’t forget this aspect of life. I strongly believe that creative people have a comparatively easy life. So, be curious about all the things around you.
Look for the reasons for the things. Question the reasons and find the answers to your questions you raised.
Accompany yourself with good friends
Here, by good friends, I mean all the things which are favourable for your growth. It can be:
- People: Accompany yourself with the people who are motivating you for the self-improvement. Who can understand that learning never ends and who understand that this valuable life should not be wasted in discussing people! It’s better to discuss the versatility and varieties of life. Otherwise, it’s better not to accompany the people who are demotivating you or wasting your time.
- Books: For books, I recommend you to read anything you find in your field or other than your fields. At least you read the best of all times in philosophy and psychology and in the fields, you’re working in. The books will help you grow up and will keep you motivated. You will become more curious than ever.
- Environment: No environment is good or bad, but favourable for some people and unfavourable for some others. So, if you feel that you can’t survive in your environment you should change it. You should find a better environment for you, which can help you in self-improvement.
Change your outlook
Sometimes it’s very important to change your outward personality. You can change your life if you are capable of changing your outlook according to the demand of your company and your profession.
You should possess a lively charm in your outlook. Your outlook increases your acceptance. Effective personality has its own impact. You should dress up according to the situation. Your selection of colours should highlight your personality.
Apparently, it doesn’t seem much important. But it’s certainly a thing worth mentioning.
Care for yourself
According to Dean Graziosi, in his book “Millionaire success habits” it’s habits which make people successful or unsuccessful. If you change your habits you can change anything. In change, it can be your physical change or mental approach.
So it’s found that successful people are habitual of loving themselves.
They love their existence, their appearance, their way of working and thinking. So you should love yourself and adopt the habits which successful people do in their lives for themselves.
For example, all the successful people are conscious about their:
So, while struggling for the self-improvement, you can’t forget these 3 areas of life.
Exercise releases depression and strengthens your muscles. And the right food won’t get you into the trouble.
Meditation on the other hands, empower your connection with soul and help you improve your focus.
Learn prior management
It’s really important to learn prior management. Because when you know what you should do first and what you even shouldn’t do then it not only increases your productivity but also releases stress.
Make a plan every day, or every night for the next day, what things you will do first – a must-to-do list.
On that plan, you won’t compromise at any cost. In the prior management, I not only mean to set priorities but to minify as well. You should also know what’s unnecessary and should not take your valuable time.
I think “Eat That Frog” by Brian Tracy can be the best book to learn prior management. (By the way, you can download it free here.)
Just like social media, all of this kind of things which kills your precious time should be avoided. Because it takes time and it distracts you from achieving your life goals.
Learn to say no
I have found that when we don’t learn to say no to unnecessary matters, unimportant people, we waste our time and lose focus.
These are actually distractions which won’t let you improve yourself. So, you must decide what important for the time. Only go for that.
It’s very obvious that we think of changing a life when we are not satisfied with our present situations.
Along with many other factors, this boredom maybe because of our emotional loneliness.
In fact, the man is a social animal.
Being a human we need to be loved and care about. And necessarily there are some people to whom we love and care about. We want to share our joys and sorrows with them. And when we lack this sharing, we feel chaos within ourselves. This emptiness minimises our happiness and intensifies our tensions.
So it’s but natural to seek the company of our family, relatives or friends. And if you really want to turn the emptiness of your life to fulfilment; you have to empower and beautify your relations.
Give the due place and space to every relation.
It will make you feel more excited and encouraged. You will definitely feel a happy change in your life.
Find the reason behind self-improvement
We always need a reason to do something, it can be internal or external motivation – love or hate.
Why do you want to change your lifestyle? There must be a reason; find that reason.
Find a stronger bigger reason and remember it for every moment. You should never forget that you’re struggling for a reason, and the reason will never let you down.
When we have stronger reasons and clear results we habitually work for the matters in our lives.
To sum up the discussion, it could be said that change is essential for improvement.
In this universe, survival is only for the fittest. So you should make yourself more fit and acceptable.
The people who don’t like to change are nothing more than the torn out pieces of something that could play no vital role neither for own self nor for the rest of the world.
So by following the above-mentioned ways, be improved, be useful and be the best version of you.
I would certainly like if you share your ideas about how you think about the improvement of life.